What Happens When Your Identity Starts Falling Out? Podcasthon | EP300

When my hair started falling out at 18, revealing a smooth bald patch the size of a 50-pence coin, I was completely devastated. Hair isn't just an accessory – for many of us, it's deeply connected to our identity and self-worth. After two decades living with alopecia areata, learning to conceal patches and fearing each episode might be the one where it all falls out, I've developed a unique empathy for those experiencing hair loss.

This episode marks the 300th milestone of Mindset & Action, but instead of business strategy, I'm participating in Podcasthon – a special week where podcasters highlight charities close to their hearts. For me, it's the Little Princess Trust, an extraordinary organization creating real hair wigs for children who've lost their hair during cancer treatment or from conditions like alopecia.

My journey took an unexpected turn in 2021 when I finally worked up the courage to cut my hip-length auburn locks into a bob, donating 16-20 inches. What many people don't realise is that while the Little Princess Trust accepts donations as short as 7 inches, they desperately need longer donations (over 11 inches) to create the flowing styles many little girls dream of. Through my business network's support, what began as a personal hair donation transformed into a £1,400 fundraiser benefiting three cancer charities.

Have you considered donating your hair? The requirements are simple: at least 7 inches, natural hair color (with limited grey), and no bright dyes. After four years, my hair has grown back to my waist – proof that sometimes our greatest gift is something we can regrow. If you're contemplating a significant haircut, consider how your locks might give a child facing illness the confidence to face the world again.

Podcasthon

The Little Princess Trust

Access the Class HERE

www.donnaeade.com

Chapters

• 1:47 Introduction to Episode 300
• 3:58 Podcast-a-thon & Charity Focus
• 5:14 My Alopecia Journey Begins at 18
• 9:57 Living with Patch Alopecia & Stress
• 15:35 Donating Hair to Little Princess Trust
• 20:23 Fundraising for Three Cancer Charities
• 24:18 The Impact of Hair Donation
• 26:58 Upcoming Events & Marathon Charities

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:50

You're listening to the Mindset in Action podcast, the place to be to grow and streamline your business. I'm your host, donna Eade. Let's jump into the show. Welcome back to the podcast, everybody.

Speaker 1: 1:09

Now we have got a little bit of a different program for you today, and I am sitting in my living room, which is a little bit of a different program for you today, and I am sitting in my living room, which is a little bit different. I'm also hand-holding my mic, which I have seen other podcasters do on video podcasts, but I'm not sure it's the best method, especially with this particular microphone, so we will see how it goes. However, what is different about this program? Well, it is episode 300, technically 301, but we're ignoring the one that I didn't count as an episode. So episode 300, which is a big deal, and normally on big number episodes or, you know, celebratory episodes, I would do a look back episode where I look at the most popular episodes that we've had on the show so that you've got a playlist to go back and listen to. But my fifth birthday is coming up and I'm obviously going to do something along those lines in April, so I didn't want to have two back to back episodes like that. However, I do realise that, with 52 weeks in the year, and the fact that I don't do episodes over Christmas means that my birthday is always around a pivotal number. So it probably will happen again at some point, but I'll think something different for next year. But this year what I'm focusing on is something very different for the podcast.

Speaker 1: 2:41

I have spoke about this topic before, but this week is something very special in the podcasting space and it is podcast-a-thon time. So what that is is a organisation that has set up to collaborate or have lots of podcasts collaborate to distribute episodes this week that are highlighting charities. So it's not one specific charity, it's lots of different charities, but it is the podcast world's chance to highlight charities that mean something to us. So I came across this, I signed up to be part of it, I've got a few of my clients have signed up to be part of it, and I think it's a really great way of giving charities a bit of a highlight. Especially since COVID, it has been very, very difficult for charities to survive and come back from the loss of fundraising that they had over that time period. So I think it is a great opportunity for us to highlight some charities. So that's why this week I am not going to be talking about business I hope you'll continue to listen but instead I'm going to share my story with Alopecia Ariata and I will talk to you about the Little Princesses Trust, which, which is an organization that makes real hair wigs for children.

Speaker 1: 4:16

So let's go back to when I was 18 years old. I was living out of home. By this time I had been for almost two years, so I was living alone at 18. I was with a friend, so I had a roommate, but I was living outside of parental responsibility, so I was on my own, paying my bills, paying my rent, going to work, doing all the things, and I noticed that my hair was falling out and it freaked me out.

Speaker 1: 4:57

I have always been somebody who has loved my hair, and that has come from a number of things, but one of the pivotal moments for me was when one of my teachers said to my mum how beautiful my hair was and told me that I should never dye it and never cut it. And I was a beautiful auburn colour as a child, so it had quite a lot of sort of very deep toned red in it, and I will put a photo up on my social media so that you can see the colour of my hair. But actually what I'll do is I'll put it in my group. So if you go to Startup Podcast UK with Donna Eade then you will find it there. I will pop up a picture of me as a child that really sort of showcases the auburnness of my hair, and it was beautiful as an adult. Now I can look back and go. My hair was beautiful.

Speaker 1: 6:02

But the thing was is, kids are mean and you know, despite the fact that I wasn't an orange ginger, people would call me carrots. At junior school I got called, called carrots. That's when my hair was very auburn and it was all in jest, it was all in good fun, it was never um, there was never any malice behind it. But when I got to senior school I got a lot of teasing um, and I was bullied for my hair color. Well, I don't think it was really my hair colour, that was just something to pick on. But yeah, I had a lot of tormented years during my senior school life because of the colour of my hair and because of who I was, I don't know, and it was hard.

Speaker 1: 6:46

But what the teacher had said really stuck with me and I didn't dye my hair until I was well into my 20s and I didn't cut it off until I was well into my 20s. And I only cut my hair into a bob once, I think, and it was sort of a converse bob, so it was longer in the front, shorter in the back and I had it cut like that once and then I let it grow out and I never did that again. So I have quite an attachment to my hair. So when it started falling out when I was 18, I was absolutely petrified about what was happening because for me my hair was kind of my crowning jewel. That was my beauty, that was everything to me, it was my identity and I think most women will understand that feeling of how much their hair is part of who they are. There are obviously some women out there that don't give two hoots. They're quite happy to dye it, cut it, shave it, do all sorts of things, really play with it and they're not bothered by their hair. But there are lots of women who have a lot of attachment to their hair and I'm one of them.

Speaker 1: 8:07

So when it started falling out I totally freaked out. I called my mum. She was just like go to the doctor. So I booked a doctor's appointment. Say it was an emergency. You could be waiting three, four, five weeks for an appointment with the doctor.

Speaker 1: 8:28

To me this was an emergency. I had hair that was falling out and I had discovered a 50 pence size patch on my head where there was now no hair. It was smooth as a baby's bottom and at 18 I had no idea what alopecia was. I was completely freaking out. I didn't know what was going on and I went into the doctors and he basically sent me away with nothing but almost a clip around the ear for wasting his time and his exact words were there could be somebody in the waiting room with heart palpitations and you have just taken their time. So he completely dismissed my feelings and the issue that I was having and told me that somebody in the in the waiting room could be having heart issues. And I called my mum in tears and she was like Donna, if there was somebody in the waiting room with heart issues, they should be in an ambulance, not doctor's office, which is absolutely true. So at that point I didn't really get an answer and, to be honest with you, the doctors have never really diagnosed me. I googled what it was after I had my second patch and I had learned about alopecia from Gail Porter, who famously suffers with alopecia presenter, and she told her story and was a big advocate for it back at that time. I'm sure she still is, and that's what I learned about alopecia and that is where I learned that there were alternatives to alopecia.

Speaker 1: 10:19

It wasn't just a one and done. It wasn't that you lose all your hair. So with alopecia areata it means that you will lose hair in one specific spot and it's it's what I colloquially call patch alopecia. So you will get a patch of hair that falls out and it will usually regrow, thankfully. So. I have had about five different patches on different spots of my head over the last 20 years now I would say for the last nine, ten years I have been free of any patches. I have had times where my hair has fallen out a lot more than I thought it should be. In fact, one day I actually counted the number of hairs. This was probably this is in the last five years. I counted the number of hairs that had come out of my head when I was just doing a normal hair wash day and brushing through my hair after it was dried, and there was over 400 strands in there and I was freaking out thinking, oh gosh, I can't find a patch. This is the time where it's actually going to be my whole head.

Speaker 1: 11:35

Now, I don't think that's the way alopecia works, in terms of if you have patch alopecia, you could then develop full blown alopecia. I'm develop full-blown alopecia. I'm not sure that it works that way. I haven't looked into it too deeply though, um, but yeah, I would get a patch at the base of my neck and then I would have to wear my hair down all the time because otherwise you could see it. I had patch right on the top of my head, on my part line, so I had to either part my hair on the side or wear my hair up all the time to hide it, and then I had a patch that was sort of on the side of my head. So if I wore my hair down, you didn't notice it so much, but if I wore it up, I had to be careful to sort of do a bit of a comb over job so that you couldn't see it. So it's not been a huge thing in terms of dealing with the results.

Speaker 1: 12:29

Obviously, it's quite easy to cover up, but it was just always a worry to me that this was going to be the time that it was all going to fall out, and alopecia areata is usually brought on, or one of the ways that it is brought on is through stress. So that is something that I have realized is that it is a stress response for me, and when I was 18, I was in a very, very stressful place. So it's not surprising that that first patch appeared. So that's kind of my experience with alopecia and it has given me, um, a special empathy for anybody who suffers with hair loss for whatever reason, because I understand how that can affect somebody and how much hair can mean to somebody.

Speaker 1: 13:21

So it was back in 2020, I have been toying with the idea over the last probably 10 years of do I cut my hair again? Whenever it was time to get my hair cut, it was like, do I go for a big chop and go back to a bob? Because the thing about my hair was at the time in 2020, it was sort of down to my hips, um, and I hadn't had it cut for a while, um, and it was just, it was beautiful. I absolutely loved it. I loved plaiting it, but it was a case of that it was either being washed and then in plaits or it was stuck on top of my head because there was just so much of it and my hair does still fall out a lot, so I do have a lot more fallout than most people do with their hair, and my hair would just get everywhere and be in my way, so it'd always get tied up. So I was like I'm not really taking advantage of the fact that it's as long as it is. Should I just cut it? And so I would toy, and every time I'd get in the chair I'd be like no, no, no, I'm not going to do it, keep it long, just trim it. And so something in me I don't know what it was made the decision that in 2020, I was going to chop my hair off. But to make me feel better about it, I was going to donate my hair to the Little Princess Trust. So the Little Princess Trust is an organization that creates real hair wigs for children generally going through cancer treatments, but also dealing with other hair loss issues. So I was really thrilled to be able to give them my hair. So that was the thing that kind of made it like, okay, I'm going to give my hair away and somebody's going to benefit from it being cut off, so that makes me feel better about having it done. That actually, I would also look at raising money.

Speaker 1: 15:26

Now, one of the charities that I have been a huge supporter of for my whole entire adult life is Cancer Research UK. When I was a photographer, I did a calendar that depicted cancer survivors on every month, with the exception of one where I showcased a local girl who had lost her life I think it was leukemia she had, so there was only one loss, but 11 stories of survival, and it was just a beautiful thing to do, and we raised about 500 pounds for Cancer Research UK with that. And so I was like, well, if I'm going to be donating my hair to a charity that provides wigs to children that have been through sort of radiotherapy and such, then I want to also raise some money for Cancer Research, because it's an important charity to me. And then another charity that I've also supported over the years is Macmillan. I've always heard such positive things about people's experiences with Macmillan and what a difference they have made to the lives of the people that they help. That I was just like this. Really they all fit together.

Speaker 1: 16:37

So I decided that actually, in cutting my hair, I would raise money for those three charities so raise money for Little Princess Trust, cancer Research UK and Macmillan and I didn't think that I would raise much. I thought I think my first target was something like 150 pounds. If I could just raise 50 pounds for each charity and donate my hair, that would be good, and I ended up raising 1400 pounds and that is in huge, huge, huge thanks to my business network. So if I hadn't had my business network, I don't think we would have got anywhere close to that, but the business women unlimited network really came through to support me in that they shared it. They supported it and then other groups that I were in shared it as well and it just made a huge difference and I was absolutely blown away. However, it did make me like, oh my gosh, I now actually have to do this and my my appointment had to be put back because of Covid restrictions and things.

Speaker 1: 17:48

So it was actually in April 2021 that I had the cut done and we cut because I went for the convex bob again. So we cut 16 inches off the front and 20 inches off the back, and I got to donate that to the Little Princesses Trust, and the reason that I was so thrilled with that is that the Little Princesses Trust really struggled to get long hair donations, and I think it's probably because of the same reason that I struggled with. It is because people like the longer it gets, the more attached I think we get to it. But generally speaking, you have to have at least seven inches to donate and your hair needs to be of a regular hair color. So there is, I believe there is a certain percentage of gray that is allowed. If it's more than that, they don't take it, and if it is dyed pink or blue or green or a colour that is not a normal hair colour, they can't take it. So, seven inches minimum, and what they usually get is somewhere between seven and eleven inches donated, which means that there are so many little girls out there that have had to have gone through something horrific that has caused their hair loss, and then they can't have long hair, which it just seems so sad to me, because that is one of the things that I absolutely loved as a little girl was having my long hair. So being able to donate such a good length of hair made me really happy to be able to to do that and know that there was going to be at least one little girl out there that was going to get a longer wig because I was able to donate such a good length of hair. So those are just some tips for you if you're considering doing it.

Speaker 1: 19:41

And the fact is that people can't believe how long my hair is now. So now we are in 2025. So it is almost, almost to the day four years since I had that haircut and my hair is now down to my waist again. So I had it cut back into the bob, um, properly, once after that initial haircut, I think, and I might've had it cut one more time after that and then I haven't had it cut again back into that bob. So this has been probably growth of uh, three and a half years maybe, and it's down to my waist again and that is my. My trump card, I suppose, is that my hair, thankfully and I touch wood all the time when I say it, touching the wood of my coffee table right now grows really quickly and always has done, and even though I've hit 40 and there have been other things that have changed in my body that we won't even talk about in this episode. Um, my hair growth seems to have stayed true, so I am absolutely thrilled to have my hair long again.

Speaker 1: 20:55

Um, I am considering another cut, um, and seeing if I can donate again, because it was such a, it was such a good feeling to know that the hair was going to a good cause, and I am getting quite frustrated with just the maintenance of my hair. So I've tried very hard to reduce my single plastics. So I haven't actually used shampoo bottles in probably five or six years now. And although it cleans my hair, I do find that drying my hair. You know I don't like to put heat on it, so if I do put it up in plats, I find that it can, it doesn't quite dry properly and it can get a little bit greasy and I get like one good day out of it and not a lot else. And if it was shorter I would wash it more often, and so I'm toying with the idea of potentially doing another donation at some point. I don't think I'll do the fundraising part of it. It was quite stressful and scary and, yeah, I don't know about that, but I did want to raise the profile of the Little Princess Trust in this podcast and say to you you know, if you have ever considered chopping your hair off, please do consider donating the hair that you cut, especially if you've got over 11 inches, which is what they struggle to get anything longer than that. But if you've got seven inches or more to cut off, then please, please do consider donating to the Little Princess Trust or consider growing out your hair so that you can do a donation. That would be a wonderful thing.

Speaker 1: 22:43

Um, because it is. It is something that we do hold very dear, a lot of people hold very dear, and I can't imagine being a child in this world where children can be so cruel. You know there are a lot of very kind children out there, but there are a lot of children that just I don't know, they don't think before they speak, they don't understand or they are just being mean and will say horrible things. So if a child has been through something like cancer and has lost their hair from that, and they have been through so much already, going back into school and having kids comment on the fact that they haven't got any hair and usually the chemo it takes all hair. So it's eyelashes, eyebrows, the hair on your head, everything. So having kids say mean things to you is just one thing that you just don't need when you've been through that. So being able to help them by providing hair that can give them a nice, realistic wig that can be theirs and that they can look after and that they can feel pretty again they are always pretty with or without hair, but you know what it's like when you don't feel pretty. It's one of those things. It is an internal thing and when they see all their friends being able to have plaits and ponytails and doing things with their hair and having it curled and all of that thing and not being able to do that themselves, it's got to be really, really tough and it's just something that doesn't need to happen when there is so much hair out there that could be used for the good of making real hair wigs for kids. So I am going to leave all the links to the Little Princess Trust below for you.

Speaker 1: 24:33

I hope you have enjoyed listening to my story today. I have had my second lot of results back from my hormone tests, so I am hoping to have Julie come on and we're going to have a discussion about my health, because I know that that is something that people were interested in hearing more about. So my health journey has been something that has been ongoing for many years. If you've listened to the podcast, you've heard me talk about it before, but I think it is really important, especially as a woman who is in her 40s that is potentially at that perimenopausal stage that I can help bring light to that, especially when a majority of my audience is female and the guys that are listening. You need to know this stuff too, because you may have a wife, a partner, a girlfriend that is going through it, and just being able to understand a little bit more about what women have to go through in terms of their health and their body changes at this time of life could be really helpful for you to just extend a little more grace. So stay tuned for that one. I hope you enjoyed listening to this story. All of the information for the little princess trust will be down below, and I will also link the podcastathon information so you can go and listen to some other podcasts and learn about some other charities that are important to other podcasters. Um, so that would be great if you would do that. Um, other than that, it just leaves me to say don't forget that the in-person Mindset in Action Live is coming to you on the 3rd of April. I am so, so thrilled to be able to bring this to you.

Speaker 1: 26:17

At the weekend I went and spent some time with Andrea Rainsford, who is going to be one of the speakers at my event. She was holding one of her in-person events and it was absolutely fantastic hearing her speak, hearing Nicola speak, who is also going to be speaking at my event, and just feeling that buzz. There is nothing like being in a room of people that are just aligned, room of people that are just aligned, and what I said was at the table. Somebody turned around and said I was really nervous about coming here by myself and not knowing anybody, and it's been such a lovely experience to be here in this room with these people. And I said the thing is is if you might not know anybody else, but everybody in this room pretty much knows Andrea and they like her and they gel with her personality. So if that's the case, it's likely that you're going to get on with most of the people in the room because you get on with her, and I'd like to think that that's going to be the same with my event that you either know one of my speakers or you know me, and in doing that, we're just bringing like-minded people together.

Speaker 1: 27:26

So all of the people that I've got on my list right now, I know that they are going to be fantastic people for you to talk to.

Speaker 1: 27:33

So if you're sitting on the fence, jump off it right now, because we are going to be getting together to have six fantastic speakers speaking about business fundamentals help you grow and streamline your business.

Speaker 1: 27:46

We've got two fantastic facilitators that are going to come and do some well-being stuff with us, because it's really important that we find our balance, and those two facilitators are both running the London Marathon at the end of April and they are fantastic ladies running for two incredible charities. So, in in the spirit of podcastathon, I would just mention that they are running for Meningitis Now and for Brain Research UK, and 10% of all ticket sales from March the 1st are going to those ladies to support those two charities. So, buying your ticket, you'll be supporting those charities and you will be able to come along and get all of that business knowledge as well, as well as afternoon tea and a birthday cake to celebrate my fifth podcast birthday, so I hope to see you there. All of the details will be in the show notes, but you can head over to donnaeedcom forward slash birthday event. You'll find all the details there and I hope to see you next week. Bye for now.