Boosting Productivity with Wit and Wisdom with Vivienne Joy | EP279

Ever wondered why it's so hard to stay focused, or why you're so easily distracted? My delightful co host Viv and I explore these questions with humour and honesty as we navigate the tricky world of focus and productivity, especially for those with ADHD. We tackle the big three focus zappers: boredom, fear, and lack of skill, sharing personal stories and practical tips for adapting work styles to overcome these common hurdles. Plus, we chat about the dopamine effect, neurotransmitter imbalances, and how lifestyle choices can impact mental well-being, all while keeping things light and relatable.

From impulsive online shopping sprees to the thrill of finding the perfect outfit, the episode is peppered with laughter and real-life anecdotes that highlight the importance of self-management. You won't want to miss her hyper-focused shopping tales, where determination meets hilarity, or the chance to connect with Viv through her monthly networking events. Whether you're seeking ways to boost your productivity or just in need of a good chuckle, this episode promises a mix of valuable insights and entertainment. Join us for a fun and enlightening conversation that might just change how you view focus forever.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Lack of Focus
• 10:38 The Dopamine Effect
• 15:11 Focused Shopping Misses Mark

Transcript

Donna Eade: 0:30

You're listening to the Mindset in Action podcast, the place to be to grow and streamline your business. I'm your host, Donna Eade. Let's jump into the show. Welcome back to the podcast, everybody. For another mini Mindset Monday, I'm here with Viv. Welcome to the podcast, Viv. Hello, hello, hello.

Vivienne Joy: 0:55

I always like to.

Donna Eade: 0:56

We always have a little bit of a singy bit there, don't we?

Vivienne Joy: 0:59

I was going to say that A few months ago my wife took the beginnings. I used to do something called a Monday Mindset Reset years ago and she took all the beginnings of every single one and it said, hello, hello, good morning, good morning, good morning, hello, hello. And I was singing and literally she took just that first bit and created a whole little video that she put out. I thought it was hilarious and, yeah, literally very predictable, sadly Sounds like a song.

Donna Eade: 1:22

I love it and they've got a. There's a meme or something on Instagram, somewhere in the depths of the internet, where there's a cat meowing and the person has made it into a song. All of these cats meowed and he made a song out of his bloody brilliant but uh, yes, hilarious. Okay, well, we've sung, we're here, and today we are here. Well, look, there you go. I'm not thinking.

Donna Eade: 1:49

I set myself up for this one, but today we're going to be talking about lack of focus, which I've just gone on off on a lovely little tangent there. It is right there, brilliant, oh dear. Okay.

Donna Eade: 2:03

So, viv, obviously we know that there are many different ways of being a human in this world, and in the last sort of well, probably since, since my lifetime, things like autism, adhd, all of these different type of neurodiverse things have kind of really come into the forefront, and a lot of those things get blamed, I think, for people having lack of focus or not being productive in their day, etc. Etc. And I think oftentimes it's actually, you know, we've just got to learn to work with what we have and how we work best, and we have to learn. So being able to get diagnosed with something is really kind of going okay. Now I can understand, that's how my brain functions, so this is how I can perform better. But, neurodiversity aside or included, lack of focus is something I think most people can say that they really sort of struggle with focus and don't really know, can't put their finger on what it is that is really keeping them stuck. So over to you, let's talk about lack of focus really do choose all my favorite subjects.

Vivienne Joy: 3:13

It's almost like you know me, donna. Um, very nice indeed. Now, interestingly enough, sort of adhd we're talking about that. Of course I know a lot about that. That lack of focus that is created is created by lack of dopamine. It's created by a lack of excitement or interest. Basically, we're just bored, and if we're bored we don't concentrate. So there's two different types of lack of focus and that's one of them. It's boring, I'm not interested, I'm not engaged with the subject or the thing I'm doing. Um, and the other lack of focus comes down to three things that you hear me talk about, literally till my deathbed, and on this occasion I'm going to call it bored, scared or skill. So if we lack focus, so let's say, taking adhd aside, because actually there's the hyper focus which I have, like on a massive level, I can literally not eat for 24 hours and be so hyper focused I've forgotten to even go for a wee. Honestly, it's really quite powerful, but actually that board equals it's not valuable enough. Not valuable enough. I mean, we're not attached to the outcome. It's not essential enough. We talked about this last time. It's not essential enough. It's not exciting enough. We don't know the power of the outcome. So if we don't do that, we're bored. It's a no. Like you know, I always use blogging as my example for this. Before I understood the power of blogging and started getting clients from it, it was I just sit there looking at the computer going I don't know what the hell I'm going to say. So once I worked that out and once it became exciting, then then I was on it. Now it's like very valuable. Then I'd focus.

Vivienne Joy: 4:37

But we've also got fear. So we can blame all sorts of things. But typically if we're trying to do something, we could have a fear attached to it. We could have oh, actually. So we might be saying, oh, it's because I'm not interested, it could be because you don't know how to like, you don't know, you just don't know what the outcome is going to be. Like putting out that first podcast or that first video. You could be like you know, procrastinating, like a you know watching Friends 24-7, which is typically what I do but actually the fear of what will happen when you put it out. So it looks like it's the task, but it's not. It's the outcome of the task that we're scared of. That will create a loss of focus, because we don't want to come to the end of the task, if that makes sense.

Vivienne Joy: 5:21

And the final one is skill. We just don't know how. So if I'm consistently trying to edit a video and I don't know how to do it, I'll just get bored of it, I'll come back to it and then I'll probably forget all about it, because if I don't know how to do it, I'm not going to get that dopamine hit of completion. Therefore, I'm not going to do it. And also I don't want to feel stupid. I don't want to feel like I can't do it. No one wants to feel like they can't do something. We're not very good at being beginners. Most people we do it, but actually we want ego-like. So yeah, bored, scared, or we haven't got the skill, or, as I call about them, value, fear and skill. That's the main one. So focus is an acronym.

Vivienne Joy: 5:59

Actually, in my book, the mindset for business, I talk about this quite a lot. It's an acronym I use follow one course until successful, follow one course until successful. And right back at the beginning of launching my she enjoys business. I used to talk about unitasking, because what people try to do is they try to multitask. Adhd is. If you're listening to me, I don't know if your computer is the same, but I get to stage where I can't have enough tabs open, even if they're pinned. There's just so much where I've left it open to remind myself. I've got screenshots everywhere.

Vivienne Joy: 6:29

But actually what should happen is we decide on one task. That's the important thing, that's the thing we're going to get the dopamine hit on and let's go, and that becomes then that hyper focus, so unitasking, very important for anybody, whatever their thing is. That way we do get the excitement because we're like we're going to do it and we're going to finish it, whereas if we start something we can't finish it. Like if you give me a task to do and I can't do it in a lot of time, I just won't start it. So I don't no focus at all because I know I can't complete it and I'm not very good at picking tasks up and most people are like that as well. We like to finish. Completion is a big deal. The brain likes that big tick you know the one we put on the list, the brain. We were talking about time management last time. But the brain likes that big tick of completion. And if we can do that, then the focus is there. So the trick to doing this is to say, actually the reason I need to focus is that when it's finished, I'll feel this, when it's completed, I'll feel this, and then really power up that visualization or that energy or that feeling of what it's going to be like when you finish it.

Vivienne Joy: 7:28

It's how I go swimming in the morning.

Vivienne Joy: 7:30

Please know, there's no focus on getting up at six o'clock in the morning when it's dark and rainy, my wife's laying in bed, beautifully, it's freezing cold outside, lovely and warm in bed. My focus is not oh, let's get up and have a lovely swim. My focus is like oh, my god, I do not want to do this. So all my body language or my self-talk, everything goes with the focus of let's stay in bed. So we need to get a focus and we need to get the mindset and self-talk that goes along with that focus of right, if I get up and go swimming, this is going to happen. When I finish swimming, this is going to happen, um, and then I'll thank myself in two weeks time because I'll feel x. So we need to give ourselves and we work in chunks of three. We need to give ourselves those three function points that are going to help us to get on with it, to help us to focus, if that helps you love it, love it, love it, and I love the three thing.

Vivienne Joy: 8:18

We're bored most of the time, we're just bored. Yeah, we're just really bored. It's like, oh man, I've got to do the expenses again. I'm just bored of looking at receipts from McDonald's. I'm not, you know. I'm like I've got to motivate myself. Oh good, it'll feel good when I send it to the accountant, and I've done it. So that's what I mean like future pacing your, how you're going to feel when it's done. Most important thing, because no one's doing the boring shit, do we?

Donna Eade: 8:41

you know. No, that's very true, and I I am very much guilty of the uh, the distraction one, the uh. I can't work out how to do this, so I'll go to youtube and find out. Oh there's, there's my new. One of my channels has just released a new video. Let me just watch that and that's it. I'm distracted, easy.

Vivienne Joy: 9:00

Well it's scroll, isn't it they call it. I mean, what we're doing is we're scrolling through other things in our brain that are more exciting we're looking for. We're looking for better things. We're looking at the menu of excitement and trying to find what we're looking for. So, um, yeah, if we only give ourself one thing, that's all we're doing right now, that's all we're allowed to do, that's it.

Vivienne Joy: 9:18

Some of it's around our self-parenting, I talk I'm sure I've talked on these about parent, adult, child stuff. This is transaction analysis, psychodynamic counseling, um, but some of it is we just didn't learn to be parented like. My parents never made me do anything like. It was like oh, I'd have these toys out, I could do this, I could do that you could do. Basically, I was an only child. I literally just got away with murder. So no one said to me finish that before you start that. And if I had had that said, I would probably be quite different. But I was allowed to just free flow and do what the hell I like.

Vivienne Joy: 9:47

So how we parent ourselves, we'll either have someone who's just JFDI, isn't it? The JFDI is like that quite critical parent, or the oh it's all right, you don't need to do it. Why don't you go and have a biscuit, have a cup of tea? Not think about it, let's go and do something that's more exciting or more fun. Or why don't you go for a walk with the dog? It's relaxing and lovely. That's the more nurturing parent. And actually those negative states of both the bossy one or the letting you off the hook one, which are the negative parenting states, never going to serve any child version of you, because that's essentially we haven't got any focus, is our inner child is going. Yeah, we're bored, mummy, we want to go. Something exciting. You know the kid never wanted to go. And do you know something boring with you? Never want to come to work. So, yeah, to find your positive parenting styles, that encouragement, that leadership, that passion, um is very, very important. I run a lot of trainings on it, as you know yeah, yeah.

Donna Eade: 10:38

And and what you said about the dopamine, I think that was like really hit home for me because, um, if you've been listening to the podcast, um, you will know that um was it last, not last Monday, the Monday before. I did an episode on my own on the Monday because me and Viv weren't able to make our diaries match up enough to, uh, be consistent with it. So I got the opportunity to actually share a little bit about my, my results from the testing that I've had done, where it actually shows that my dopamine levels are like rock bottom and my serotonin and my melatonin. And you know that's all to do with the systems in the body and how they work and the fact that I'm not getting the right nutrients into my body to allow those pathways to work properly.

Vivienne Joy: 11:24

So, yes, I've got a friend actually I've just had this conversation with somebody else that thinks mindset stuff is woo-woo, which I think is hilarious. Oh, it's, you know, hobbledy-gobbledy, gobbledy-gook stuff. No, this is neuroscience. This is how the brain works. This is chemical. This is a chemical imbalance of what's going on and that'll be caused by stuff that's gone on in your life. And, yes, it could be about external references, ie what you're putting into your body, but also about what you're putting in emotionally, your environment. You know, if you put you, if you put you in the Bahamas, donna, I'm pretty sure your dopamine and melatonin levels will go through the roof, but here in rainy England, not so much. So you come to coffee, cake and coaching. Not only is there the high vibe and the energy and the connection and that real kind of collaboration, there's a shit load of cake. So consequently, yeah, you're all of your, your levels go high, so you get high and then you probably feel a bit low the next day because you've probably gone too high. So I was at an event last weekend and the next day I was feeling quite low and my wife said to me well, you've got like event drop, haven't? You said, yeah, I have like the event blues, post Christmas event blues yeah, that is true, where you've had all this high energy stuff. Um, the dopamine's been too high and now it's not at all. So, um, you know, adhd, people with ADHD are continuously searching for the dopamine and it's about finding that. Actually, just well, if we've got a moment, that lack of focus, like we want to focus, there's other times where I have to distract myself so I have to do the opposite so I can really really really quickly go from here's a business idea, shit, there's a concept. I'll book it by the domain and before I know it, I literally within two hours, I've created a whole new business. So sometimes I want to distract myself so I have to go right, why don't you just write it all down, put it somewhere for a few days and come back to it if it still feels like a good idea? Because actually what I like is the excitement of the new business, actually whether that business is right for me, whether this is discerning for my. You know my vision and mission for life. So, yeah, I'm the same with um shopping, online shopping.

Vivienne Joy: 13:19

So, like Amazon, Amazon or any shopping sites that are available, that's not my only one I'll be adding stuff into the basket and the difference between me and somebody else is I'll just think hey. And before I know it I'm like, oh, emeril said there's a parcel arrived. I'm like, really, I genuinely can't even remember ordering it. Anyone with ADHD will be laughing at me, because this is exactly true and I'll be like, oh, oh, I've just ordered this happened yesterday and ordered some pink wellies. I was like I remember those. Like a week ago I forgot about that. Do I need pink wellies? No, will I like them? Yes, they match my coat, probably.

Vivienne Joy: 13:48

Um, so, all happy days. I know you're laughing your head off at me. So now I have to go right. We'll put it all in the basket and we'll come back to it and see if we still like that top with those fringy bits on it or whatever. Whatever mood I was in, if I'm in a particularly, you know, exciting mood, I'll put all sorts of sweet sequined numbers into the basket, whereas actually the normal me well, have you seen me in sequins? Maybe at Christmas Donner, but no, I'm not, really, not even to a festival. I'm not a sequin girl. So, yeah, so that you know the lack of focus and the ability to stop the hyper focus. They, they're all around being able to self-manage every single part brilliant.

Donna Eade: 14:25

Well, thank you for that insight in your shopping basket. I'm laughing so hard because I know Emma and I'm just like she must, be so exasperated.

Vivienne Joy: 14:38

What the hell she ordered now she's like what, what is that? This is, so I'll open something. She'll be like what is that? I'm like yeah, no, I don't know. I'm like I still don't know. There's a look at the packaging, I can try and reflect back into my memory and as I start to open it, I'm like I still don't know, I'm going to an awards ceremony.

Vivienne Joy: 14:57

I've been, I'm a mentor of the year. I'm um, getting this will come out before then. But yeah and uh, I've bought already. I bought a set of dresses from a shop and then I bought some more and I didn't remember the first lot I've ordered until they arrived. I'm like, oh yeah, I like that dress, that's the one I really liked. And then it's like, well, you've got three more coming.

Donna Eade: 15:15

I'm like I know, oh yeah, so I have this does not surprise me from the woman who bought how many wedding dresses before she found them though.

Vivienne Joy: 15:23

No, but that was a real dopamine hit, like my focus. I was hyper focused on getting the dress I wanted. Couldn't find it was buying the nearest thing each time until I found the actual one. So, um, yeah, like a, I'm like a, you know, a bulldog on acid when I really want something. So, yeah, somebody should have distracted me long into that wedding in a lack of focus somewhere.

Donna Eade: 15:46

Brilliant, oh dear. Well, I hope that's helped you guys and that you have been chuckling along with us as you've been listening to this. Make sure you go and check out all of viv's links in the show notes. Go and connect with her, come along to the monthly networking that she does, which is completely free for you to attend. Some more great trainings always happen there and we will see you in the next one. Bye for now.