Mindset & Action: Grow and Streamline Your Business
Mindset & Action is a business podcast aimed at helping business owners grow and streamline their businesses. It focuses on four main pillars, building an audience through different mediums including Donna's preferred method, podcasting, planning, productivity and mindset Giving you a MAP to success from entrepreneurs around the globe.
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Mindset & Action: Grow and Streamline Your Business
Breaking Free from the Shadows: Viv's Guide to Visibility | EP263
What if your fear of visibility is the only thing holding you back from reaching your full potential? Join us on this Mini Mindset Monday episode of the Mindset & Action podcast, where our resident mindset coach Viv uncovers the psychological barriers that keep us from stepping into the limelight. Whether you freeze at the thought of recording a podcast or tremble at the idea of public speaking, Viv breaks down the fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses that trap us in inaction. Learn why the fear of negative feedback and the vulnerability of expressing true thoughts can be paralysing, and how to build resilience in our social media-driven world.
Listen as Viv and I discuss real-life examples and practical advice on overcoming the hurdles of visibility. Understand the value of sharing your voice and how the uncertainty of feedback plays a significant role in our hesitation. We delve into the importance of being seen and heard, even in the face of potential rejection or conflict. If you've ever found yourself stuck, unable to hit the record button or share your ideas openly, this episode is your blueprint to breaking free from those mental chains and confidently embracing your presence both online and offline.
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Until next week, Bye for Now XoX
You're listening to the Mindset in Action podcast, the place to be to grow and streamline your business. I'm your host, Donna Eade. Let's jump into the show. Welcome back to the podcast, everybody. I am so excited to have you here for this mini Mindset Monday, and we have the lovely Viv back in the house. Welcome, Viv, my resident mindset coach.
Speaker 2:I like to be resident somewhere. It's very nice isn't it.
Speaker 1:So today we're going to be talking about visibility and how we can get stuck in our mindset about how we show up in our lives and business. So, viv, I'm going to give it over to you. My thought around this one was I've had a lot of clients that have come to me and want to do a podcast but all of a sudden, when it comes to hitting that record button, they freeze. They get this like oh my gosh, I can't do it. I don't understand it myself, because I'm all happy to press record on a podcast episode, put me up in front of a stage of people, then I might get that same freak. But so what's going on for people and what can they do to kind of move past it and get out there?
Speaker 2:Oh, it's probably my favourite subject really visibility. Donna, I think you probably know this. Visibility is the thing that people come to me for the most. They're just terrified of it, terrified, terrified, terrified, terrified, um, you know they have to get themselves out there, um, quite a lot of the time. So there's a few reasons, but a lot of the time they don't know the impact of it.
Speaker 2:So you know the impact now of your podcast. You know that people listen to them, they like them, they give you feedback. You probably have ideal clients come towards you so they've got a purpose, whereas actually, when people are starting out in business because once you've done it quite a few times, it becomes normal, doesn't it? And that is how it is for you and for me now with anything really. But actually, to start with, they don't know the value of it. So they don't know, if they record a video and put that somewhere brilliant, whether they're going to get someone troll them, whether someone's going to think they're brilliant or say who the hell do you think you are? They don't know what that feedback is going to be. So that's the first thing is, they don't know. It's not valuable enough for them. Sometimes it's because they don't think they're qualified. So sometimes it's about the content of it.
Speaker 2:You know, if we start to talk about things we really think and feel passionately. We leave ourselves vulnerable and open to someone going that's not right, whereas actually our feelings are our feelings and we could get hurt. So we don't like the feeling of rejection or somebody not agreeing with us. Most people don't like any sort of conflict, confrontation, which essentially, when we're thinking about visibility, we could have and actually typically do have. So we have to become a bit more resilient. So we're not that resilient as people. Until social media arrived, we didn't have to like people. Until social media arrived, we didn't have to like people we didn't like. We didn't have to see people we didn't get on with. We didn't have to see competitors unless they were advertising. So the whole world has changed and now we all have to kind of get along. We all have to get along. So that is the biggest one.
Speaker 2:You know that fight, flight freeze and fawn I'm sure you're very familiar with. We've talked about that freeze that you just talked about. Before you press the go live button or the record button or whatever. That is what they call an inactive state. So the freeze and the fawn are like let's just stay here. They're like the stuck states, so it's nice and safe, like if I just sit here like a like you know Bambi in the headlights and don't do anything, then nothing bad can happen, whereas, like the you know, flight and fight are the active states, like we're going to move forward, we've got to do something. So it's about the trick is to get yourself from that kind of stuck state into that active state and the main thing is to understand the value of it and know that whatever happens, you can deal with it, because you become quite resilient.
Speaker 2:The biggest um trolls I get are on youtube and there's some stuff like that. Okay, grandma, what do you know? They're things like. They're just like written by 12 year olds I swear you're too ugly to talk about this or you know this is not even real.
Speaker 2:So like, once you realize that all the people out there that might comment, so like once you realize that all the people out there that might comment really have no bearing on anything, you get out of your own way. Like I think 12 year old sitting behind his computer in india got to do with my business nothing, so I don't really care what he thinks. You know, if one of my peer group talks about me in a different way, then I care, and that's probably what most people are scared of. So it's a big subject, because imposter syndrome sits at the back of it. Um, you know that comparisonitis. Oh, they're better than me. They talk about it a lot more, they look nicer, they've got better hair. I don't know.
Speaker 2:We make all sorts of excuses, don't we? I suppose, like you say, when you're doing audio at least, it's not about your lipstick and your hair or your skin, or you know what you're wearing, it's about what you're. But the biggest challenge, donna and this is the number one challenge is we don't get the feedback immediately. So when you think about having a conversation in real life, which is what we're designed for it's a two-way street. So you and I would sit in a room before social media arrived, I would say something and I would watch your physiology. Like we're tuned into that.
Speaker 2:Even if we're not experts on rapport, we're tuned into that distaste or that acceptance or that feeling or whatever that reaction is. We're looking for the response to make sure that we are in the right way, we're together in the right way, because we don't get that. We don't get that on podcasts, we don't get that on video, we don't get that even in text, like if we write a blog, blog, we don't get that until someone comes and gives us it and we're scared. So, yeah, the feedback is not immediate, and so that's the good and bad thing for some people. But we want feedback immediately to know we're going in the right direction, or we don't want feedback for somebody to tell us we're not going in the right direction. So, as you can hear, there's a real shit store going something in the head and a lot of people.
Speaker 2:I need to, I have to. Someone's told me I've got to, I've got a coach. You know my clients are like, uh, yes, you have got to, and they're like, oh, I'm like, just get on with it, just do it. It's never going to be easy the first time. Nothing ever is. When you learn to walk, it wasn't easy. When you learn to spell, it wasn't easy. When you learn to drive, it was like probably traumatic. So you know, nothing is ever easy the first time, but you just live and learn and you get on with it until it becomes normal. So, yeah, that's what stops us. Fear, essentially fear not valuable enough or skill. You're really clued up with a tech donna. But most people and I know you work with mostly women are terrified of tech. They've got like prop tech, tech terror. Like you know, it's a microphone. Like you plug it in for some reason they get their head into this. Oh, my god, it's wrong. What if I? You know, attach it wrong. You can't hear me. It's just all excuses.
Speaker 1:Really, most of the time, yeah, that's very true, very true. So I know obviously you work with loads of people on this and I've had to deal with it in my work with my clients. What would you suggest somebody do is obviously working on their value really important. So working on that mindset, part of it, and really understanding what it is that is stopping them from pressing record or hitting go live, is really important to understand. Because when you kind of shift that and realize that it's a load of BS in your head that doesn't matter and these people that you're scared of don't really matter, what would your sort of top three tips for people be to sort of get them started, get that first one done, or how would you progress your client through from? You know I'm absolutely terrified. There's absolutely no way I'm hitting go live on Facebook to actually being able to do that. So what are some of the sort of key things that you would do with somebody to to get them there?
Speaker 2:Well interesting. So, as you're talking there, what I'm hearing is about this is like it matters to the inner child. That's the biggest thing. So the first step I will take with any client is to work out if there are any real mindset blocks. Ie, they stood up in class and they made fun of themselves you know things that happen to children or they spoke up in a meeting, even at work, and they lost their job. Or they were made to feel humiliated, even at work and they lost their job. Or they were made to feel humiliated. So there could be some real mindset shifts that we need to do some belief work. So that's the first place I would always start because if that's there, it doesn't matter what physical external stuff I'm helping people with. That internal subconscious block will keep blocking. It's like it doesn't matter. Oh, I just need to record a thing. It just carry on going on.
Speaker 2:So we need to sort that. We need to understand what is causing that. Then we need to make sure that it's valuable enough. We need to make sure what they're going to say to get out there has got enough power that is going to be valuable enough. So we need to make sure that it's fabulous, because putting out lukewarm, crappy, boring content is just of no value whatsoever and therefore then you can do it. You kind of gather all momentum, do it and get no response. That's going to stop you as well, because it hasn't got any outcome. So our brain is very much driven towards outcome. So the third thing is to work out what we need the outcome to absolutely be, because if we're doing stuff and getting no outcome, then the stuff we're doing isn't right for the outcome. So we need to be clear what we're doing. So we need to make sure there's no blocks. We need to make sure that what we're saying achieves what we need it to, in which case we need to know what that outcome is. And once we can get all those three things lined up powerfully which is normally a one session thing then people are driven towards it. They're more likely to shift and move because now they've got clarity, they've got courage, got confidence, they've got skill to make sure they know how to do it.
Speaker 2:The first Facebook Live I did was upside down and I didn't know how to end it, but luckily I'm quite courageous. I've learned in life Fortune favors the brave. It was a car crash. Honestly, I wasn't in a car, I hasten to add, but it was absolute diabolical. You know, the first few videos I was hello, you know, like I mean, I was a live nightmare. I really was um, and I think most people are. Uh, until you kind of get your head together. But they're the three things. We need to make sure we understand all of those, otherwise we simply won't do. It has to be valuable in everything in life or we just won't bother. Won't bother putting ourselves so true, so true.
Speaker 1:And visibility is a key our businesses guys. So we really need to shift whatever is blocking you from getting yourself visible. You really need to move that, because if you aren't visible, then nobody knows you're there, and if nobody knows you're there, nobody's going to buy your stuff. So it really is something that is kind of a foundation part of your business. So come speak to Viv. All of our links are in the show notes. They always are in every episode that we do together. You can find her. She is absolutely everywhere. You can't miss her. She is a bundle of joy. So go and find Viv and she can help you shift that one. So that is it for this week. Next week we're actually talking about value, so make sure that you tune in for that one and we'll see you there. Thanks so much, viv, and we'll see you in the next one. Bye for now.
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