Creating Harmony Through Boundaries: A Session with Mahnaz Sharif | EP186

Are you feeling overwhelmed by the demands of your professional and personal lives? You're not alone! We've got Mahnaz Sharif, a boundary-setting expert, with us, sharing her invaluable insights on mastering the elusive work-life balance. She's not just addressing the working mothers; her wisdom is for anyone finding it hard to create harmony between their work and personal life.

We kick things off by discussing the importance of setting boundaries. Far from being constraints, Mahnaz sees them as checkpoints that keep us on the right track. We then shift gears to address the art of self-care. Ever thought about how being a better caregiver to yourself can bring balance to your life? We explore this concept and share how simple measures like taking scheduled lunch breaks can create moments of rest in our otherwise jam-packed schedules. And, where better to seek inspiration for balance and rest than nature itself?

As we approach the final leg of our discussion, we share practical strategies for setting boundaries at work and home. If you're finding it hard to create boundaries owing to lack of family support, or if your rest time is getting compromised, you'll find our tips and strategies incredibly beneficial. More importantly, we discuss how to effectively communicate your boundaries to your family and make time for both work and family. This insightful conversation promises to equip you with tools to bring harmony and balance to your life. So, let's get started on this journey together!

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Transcript

Donna Eade: 0:51

You're listening to the Mindset in Action podcast, bringing you the map to grow and streamline your business in 2023. I'm your host, Donna Eade, your go-to gal for all things podcasting, planning and productivity and I'll be bringing you all that, plus Mindset goodness from experts with knowledge to share. Let's make 2023 the year of success in your business. You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep others warm Unknown. Welcome back to episode 185.

Donna Eade: 1:31

I am so glad to have you here today to listen to this conversation with Mahnaz Sharif. She is an expert in boundary setting, especially when it comes to motherhood. So if you are a mum, this one is definitely going to hit home for you. If you are not a mum, still listen in, because boundaries are important to set, whether we have children, or whether it is just family members that are taking up our time when we should be working, or if it is you that is stopping you working, which, for me, is often the case. So let's jump into today's episode with Mahnaz. Hello, my lovely. Will you please introduce yourself? Tell us a little bit about what you do and how you actually came to be doing what you're doing Of course.

Manhaz Sharif: 2:16

Thank you so much for having me on, Donna. My name is Mahnaz and my business is called Build With Boundaries, so I help mums whose business dreams are buried under their family needs, you know, when they're spinning all the plates and doing all the things and prioritising everybody around them and sometimes or often, let's face it we are at the bottom of the list. That's who I help, and I help them to bring more harmony and joy and real focus into their life, because they need that in order to be fully present with their family when they are not working and be fully focused on their work when they're working, without the mum guilt, without the overwhelm and without all those things that can just be so distracting right?

Donna Eade: 3:04

Yeah, absolutely, and I completely agree that mums, I think, have it the hardest when it comes to this. I feel like just the environment that we've grown up in sort of dictates that the dads go out to work and the mums stay home with the children, and that is so ingrained in us generationally that I feel that men don't carry that guilt so much of going out to work not to say that they don't love their families or want to be with their children but they don't have the guilt aspect of that when they're out of the home working, whereas mums feel it because it's kind of ingrained in us that we should be at home with the children. So it's a different set of issues that each parent has, I think, and I do see the seas changing and obviously there are a lot of men that now stay at home and look after the children whilst mums go to work, which is fantastic that families are feeling more confident to do what it is that suits their family best. And I think, at the end of the day, that's what we should all be doing is what works for us best, rather than what society dictates or what our parents did or what we think we should be doing so absolutely. With that being said, I think boundaries is something that, whether you have a family or whether you are a lone wolf, or whether you are just doing a partner, whatever situation you're in, I think boundaries is something that everybody struggles with at some point in their lives, whether that's setting them or whether it's overstepping them or whether it's not respecting other people's boundaries.

Donna Eade: 4:44

I think it is a hard thing to deal with because I think a lot of the times people aren't necessarily clear on their boundaries, and that's where the communication element comes in. If you don't communicate that you are setting a boundary, then how does anybody know that they're supposed to be respecting that boundary? So it's quite a complicated sort of set of mindset shifts that I think that we have to look at and make when we're looking at boundaries and what they mean to us. So I thought, before we sort of jump into any of that, could you just explain to us a little bit about where we start with boundaries. What are they, how do they sort of come about in in life, like do, because I think a lot of the times we actually set boundaries and we haven't realized that we've either, like it's not a conscious thing that we've said. This is a boundary I'm setting, so sometimes it's hard to communicate because you don't even realize you put that boundary in place. So can you just talk to us a little bit about boundaries?

Manhaz Sharif: 5:47

Yes, this is such a great question and really interesting. I think, firstly, we need to Look at the perspective we have on boundaries, because I think the word and everybody Resonates with it. Like you said, you know, we all have our own opinion on boundaries, but it does very much sound like it's quite restrictive, right? You know, boundaries feel like, you know they're going to feel hard, they're going to restrict us, they're going to stop us from doing something and they're going to, and it feels like we're going to be putting our boundaries on to others. And it feels like, very like, either we're taking away something from somebody else or we're taking away from ourselves. But I think, you know, I get really excited about boundaries. Yeah, crazy, I know. But you know, the thing is we, it depends how we look at them, isn't it? And it's not something that we say, oh, what boundaries can I set today? But I think, what, what?

Manhaz Sharif: 6:43

The point that you raised there is really good, because we have got some boundaries, whether they are not very many, or we've kind of lowered the status of them and we've really drifted them, like if we think of a boundary as a wall, and we've got a path that we're walking on and we've had this path and we're guiding, guided on the path by these two sort of walls on either side. Now they are there, regardless of whether we are focusing on them or not. And how wide are they? And do we? Do we, you know, meander off the path? Are we going left, right and centre, or is it really too wide? Is that is going to really help us? Having the right boundaries will create more focus because it guides us, and I look at boundaries as almost being like a guide and I think when we look at things kind of visually, we can see well, it's an aid, it's a tool, it's something helpful. So I think, firstly, we need to just reframe like boundaries are not as as big bad wolf, that they are something that can help us. They can help us to know when we need to stop and it also helps other people to know you know what our boundaries are. And again, that communication piece you were talking about it can be very difficult, but when you get the right boundaries in place, they actually work well for both sides.

Manhaz Sharif: 8:11

It's not just about making something work for you and being selfish, because sometimes we think when we want to put a boundary in place and have and make that decision. It's like it's all about us. Well, actually it's not just about us. It's about creating more harmony, you know. It is about how can we do everything without everything being so fully structured. We have to have a guide of well, where could I, you know, say no, where can I stop, where can I start? And I think there's a saying, and I've forgotten who's actually said it, but, you know, boundaries can help us to see where Something ends and where something else begins, and I think that really explains very well. It's just like it's part of life, it's almost like it's there, and just being more open to thinking about it in a different perspective, I think firstly, is helpful, because none of us say we want to have lots of boundaries. That's just not something that we set our goal for, is it?

Donna Eade: 9:14

No, no, it's not a goal that we set, but I think it's actually really important that we address it and look at what boundaries are in our life. When it comes to boundaries in business, what is it that you see most often like boundaries that are overstepped, or people who kind of just set a boundary and then it's just like what? Are there any sort of common boundaries that are overstepped very often, or that we ourselves are very guilty of just going? Oh yeah, okay, well, never.

Manhaz Sharif: 9:51

Well, I think we definitely have a few of those, and I think when you're a mum, when you have so many things to do, you've probably got a to-do list, a diary, a notepad, everything going on there. Maybe the simplest thing could be taking breaks through the day, you know having a proper lunch break. So how many of us think, oh well, okay, I'll just take 10 minutes, or I'll just, you know, work through, or I'll go grab lunch and just sit at my desk and do Because, xyz, you know there's other overwhelming things that mean that you know feeling that time pressure. I guess I think that's maybe a really common one, because you know we as human beings, as women, as mums, you know, however, you want to layer that there are so many different levels. All of these are mean that we are human beings who need to rest, who need to work with focus, but we can't bring focus when we're just like constantly working.

Manhaz Sharif: 10:53

You know there is that whole aspect of anything that has to work really, really well, needs time to rest, and we can look to nature and I love looking at nature for all these examples.

Manhaz Sharif: 11:06

So an example is you know, farmers know this full and proper, and they we see it in the fields as we're driving about, wherever.

Manhaz Sharif: 11:16

Hopefully, you have fields around you that are farmers and you'll notice this all the time that you know there will be a time where they plant, there will be a time they harvest, there will be a time where they rest the field, and you know, they know that there is a significant benefit from allowing that rest time.

Manhaz Sharif: 11:33

Nature needs time to heal, nature needs time to rest, to rejuvenate, to energise, just like we do. And I think you know always reminding ourselves that we are human beings first, and then obviously being a mum on top of that Means that you know we are most of the time prioritising little people around us or our older parents or other duties and responsibilities around us, whatever that might look like. But we are caregivers, we are nurturers and we are there to help people, but we have to care for ourselves first and it's that whole, you know, putting the oxygen mask on ourselves before we even attempt to help someone else. And I think that mindset shift which I'm sure you'd probably deal with a lot, donna, in terms of the kind of mindset stuff we have to get over that because it's not selfish and it is essential and we have to look at it again differently, because that's only when we allow all the benefits that will come to actually come into our life.

Donna Eade: 12:41

I think that is a really good point and I love that visual of the farmer situation because I remember, when I was at school, them saying that you know, if a farmer had four fields, one of them wouldn't be planted and the others would, and they would rotate it to let the nutrients regenerate and they would have it. That, like the sheep were grazing on one field whilst one field was empty, whilst one was being, and they would have it also is a whole ecosystem and we are so much like nature in that, especially women. You know, with our cycles, that you know we have our own autumn, winter, summer, through a 28 day period or however long yours is, and it's so, and I've come to sort of realise that I need to work more with that cycle and I think it just happens, doesn't it?

Manhaz Sharif: 13:33

more as you get older, you realise that well, actually, there are ways that we can work with our body and there are ways that we are doing that are not aligned with us, and I think bringing again, bringing harmony, it starts from within us. First, we have to respect ourselves, and you mentioned before, like, about respecting boundaries, but you know there are so many again. There's just like these, all these onion layers that we can almost create, but everything begins from us and we are our business anyway. Most of us are solopreneurs, we're doing everything ourselves, and just really accepting that and owning it means that we have to also acknowledge that we need to take care of ourselves, just like we would an employee. How much care would we wouldn't? We want them to be healthy in every way possible.

Donna Eade: 14:25

So true, so true, and I am somebody who tries to take a lunge break. I actually have it in my Google diary every day. Lunch it's like 30 minutes slot and I try and make sure that when I have my lunch, that I step away from my desk and I actually go into the dining room and have it, and that is sort of it is a boundary for me. I don't always keep it, but the majority of time I do, because I understand that I'm more productive when I've had that rest. And I've spoke about this in a group that I'm in a couple of weeks ago, where I just spent the whole afternoon faffing about with nothing, like I was on in my email and then I was in YouTube and then I was on Instagram and I was just like all over the place getting little bits, that like getting through some of my emails but not focused on what it was that I was supposed to be doing, and just feeling a little bit odd and like not productive and I just couldn't get, and I was like I've got stuff that I need to do and so I couldn't leave the desk because I needed to do stuff, but I just wasn't doing it and I got to the sort of end of the day and I wrote in this group like this is how I've been feeling like what do you do you ever feel like this? What do you do? And they were like Donna, stop, step away, just take the time, because you just wasting your time when you could be doing something that is more restful and enjoyable and not riddled with guilt, especially because I've batch in white space in my diary. So Friday afternoons of my white space. So the idea is that I get Friday afternoons off. That's my plan. Really happens that way, but that is the plan. That's the boundary I'm not great at keeping, but the idea being that I only plan for the rest of the week. So therefore, if I can't get into something, then I've actually got an afternoon where, actually, I could say do you know what it's like?

Donna Eade: 16:25

Yesterday afternoon I was like I can't, I can't function anymore. I've got back to back interviews tomorrow. I can't do this. I need to rest and recuperate so that I'm good for tomorrow. And what I had planned for this afternoon I'll do on Friday afternoon. And I had that flexibility and created that for myself. So I know myself well enough that I know that I need that, but I think, like you said, we all actually need that space to be able to take time, and we have to kind of create that for ourselves, I think. Yeah, so we've kind of talked about a few of them here, I think, with what we've been talking about. But I wondered if, for anybody who is kind of still a little bit unsure on boundary setting, what are some of the boundaries that we could look at? You know, what could we start with? What kind of boundaries can we put in place as a beginner boundary setter, and how would we go about that?

Manhaz Sharif: 17:24

yeah, I think to start off with, we're all business owners here, so I think let's think about you. Know, when you're working, actually practical sense of what time do you start, what time do you finish. You know that is effectively a massive boundary, because do you start on time? Probably probably do, but if you don't, you know why not, what's going on, what can you do to help? You know, like understanding, like what the issues are there and when you're supposed to finish, like why would you, why are you not finishing there and just creating?

Manhaz Sharif: 18:00

It's almost like just creating two bookends. You know it isn't it where the start and the finishes that can. It can feel hard to be like well, I'm not working beyond that, right, well, how am I going to? But you have to work in a way like it's not a race. Business is not a race and we cannot rush it anymore than whatever time it takes, it will take. You know, like we can't just say in our head that well, we want to get ex-client sales, this. You know, things don't work like that. We can't really put that pressure on it. If anything, it's going to actually negatively impact the energy we're in anyway. So that's not helpful. But if we have these kind of bookends at least we have a life outside of that. So you know we're allowing, like we were talking about before, the boundaries tell us where something ends and another thing begins.

Manhaz Sharif: 18:51

You know we're like, well, we're into this other zone of picking up kids from school or they're maybe they're older and they're walking in themselves. But you're actually listening to them. You know how many times will they come in, talk to you and you're like, yeah, yeah, oh, mum, you're really not listening, are you? And they get it. They know you are not properly, fully present and I think just creating that presence like this is when I work and this is when I'm not working.

Manhaz Sharif: 19:21

So you are not only saying it's not restrictive in the sense I'm working now, it's also expansive for the other stuff, because you're like I'm not working now, ie, I am not going to think about work. I mean, we all reflect on work and things like that. We are a business owner and that's absolutely fine. I'm all up for, you know, doing that outside of time, because sometimes that's when the ideas will pop in our mind. But I think, being aware that there's no pressure to and there's actually, you are switched off. You have, you know, shut your laptop and you moved away from the environment, you're into that mum zone or whatever other things that you have to do, or if you don't have to do them, you're still non-work time, and just accepting that that's non-work time, I think that's maybe. Maybe that's somewhere that would be the very first thing to start with.

Donna Eade: 20:13

Yeah, I think that's really good and a really good point about those that aren't in that kind of family environment, like my daughter's, 22. She basically lives her own life. She still lives under my roof, but I'm not having to stop for the school run. I'm not having to stop when she comes in from school, like, or any of that kind of stuff. She's barely here to be honest with you. But the thing is, because of that it is so much easier for me to just stay in here and work way past.

Donna Eade: 20:45

My other half is also very bad at leaving work on time and he's in a time he works for a college, so right now he's really, really busy because they're doing all the enrollments and stuff. So he didn't. Actually I sent him a sad face last because obviously yesterday I took the afternoon off, so I was very aware of the time and normally he'll send me. I'm on my way home and I'll look at the clock and go, oh my gosh, how did he get to that time? But I was sitting there and I was just trying to chill out and wasn't feeling my best. So I was waiting for him to come home and I looked at the clock and it was like quarter to seven. He does a normal nine to five hours quarter to seven and he still wasn't and I just sent him a sad face and he was like I'm just walking to the car and so he didn't get home until like half seven and that was crazy to me. But under normal circumstances I would just still be working as well because he wasn't here.

Donna Eade: 21:41

And I've tried to make it that when dinner's ready because he cooks, he's a cook. I'm not a cook. When dinner's ready, that's when I down tools and I don't come back into the office after that time. But that works for me because I don't have small children that need my attention. If you had small children then you obviously can't turn around and say, well, I'll wait for the other half to get home, he can cook dinner and then we'll sit down and then I'll stop working. That's not going to work for you, so you've got to work with and I kind of accepted that I am better later in the day anyway. So I do start work later. I decided, you know what, actually I'm going to start work later because if I get in here at nine o'clock in the morning, I'm procrastinating for an hour, two hours, maybe even three hours, sometimes right up until lunchtime, and then I break from my lunch and then I come back and I actually start working then. But that's because I've started so early and I'm not ready for it. I'm not in the right mental space for it. But if I come in here at 11 and I sit down, then I'm like go, go, go, I'm in the right frame of mind.

Donna Eade: 22:46

So I think it's really important that what you said there about those being like the critical first ones to put in place, because it breaks our day up and it sections us in a way that this time is for this and this time is for that, and you're putting it on it. Where you said about timing and like not being able to do more than you can with the time that you have and us always trying to push for more, I think when you put boundaries around your time, that actually helps you get more done, because you're like no, these are the hours I've got, so I've got to be focused on the work that I'm doing. It takes away from some of that procrastination because you're honed in on these are the only work hours I've got. I cannot be in here after 3pm because I've got to go and get the kids from school and then I'm on family time and I'm committing to myself that that is what I'm doing. Maybe you don't get everything done. Maybe, once the kids are in bed, you have to come back in and do an hour just to catch up on those things that you didn't get done.

Donna Eade: 23:49

But that is a decision you can make when you've got those boundaries in place. If you haven't got the boundaries in place, then it's there's just a never ending flow of stuff to do. So I love that. That's a great way to start the next thing that I want to talk about and this, I think, is one of the most important things that we're going to talk about.

Donna Eade: 24:11

So, guys, if you are like doing something else multitasking come back to us, because this question that I have is, I think, the most important, because I think a lot of us kind of know boundaries, a lot of us kind of set some boundaries and maybe we're loosey-goosey with them, and there are things that we hear and we've heard stories and all of that jazz. But what I want from human ours is to tell us how do we keep these boundaries? Give us some tips on what we can do to ensure that we are keeping those boundaries with ourselves and with others? Because I think oftentimes I've heard it from a friend of mine where she says I work from home and my mother-in-law just thinks that I'm at home so she can just come around for a cup of tea whenever she wants. So there are people that are constantly overstepping the boundaries that we've put in place as well. So how do we maintain that? Give us some tips around keeping them for ourselves and also making others respect our boundaries. What can we do?

Manhaz Sharif: 25:17

Great question. There's this marrying up between what we want to do with setting the boundaries and what expectations other people have, and they will trottle over them and usually they'll be your nearest and dearest and it feels very difficult. So I think, to start with, we need to be very clear and accepting of the boundaries we are creating. So, for example, the one that we just talked about was like your start and then finish sort of starting time and ending time for work. Now, you could create that, but you have to then accept it and say I'm actually doing it. There's one thing thinking about it and there's another thing actually taking action on it. So what can you do? So with that boundary?

Manhaz Sharif: 26:05

I would say are you a diary person? Do you have a physical diary? Do you have an online diary? Put it in. We'll put it in there Clearly. See the hours you have to work and then you can start working out. Well, what can I do in the hours? But you have these boundaries on either side that show you when you're starting. They show you when you're ending. You might want an alarm one for when it finishes, if you're like Donna, who is going to possibly trickle over into something that goes a little bit longer. Well, maybe it's okay to have a reminder and give us like I've got 15 minutes before I finish, and that would be really helpful.

Manhaz Sharif: 26:50

If you're a physical diary person, you know, write it all out. You know you probably benefit from putting that pen to paper, because it's like setting an intention. You know you are actually not just thinking about it, you're doing it. Yeah, so practically you've put pen to paper to say you're doing it. That's setting an intention. And then another thing is verbalising it, because you know we can say that out loud, so we could tell our family, we could tell people we're living with or people who are in our space of. This is what I'm doing, and not in a way to you know, I've created this boundary because they're simply not going to understand your point of view on it, but simply that you're going to start at this time and you're going to finish at this time.

Manhaz Sharif: 27:35

If anything comes up during the time, that's obviously urgent. Of course, as a mum, you are going to deal with that. But if something is not urgent, then I also understanding what that means in reality. Because if the school calls, of course you'll pick up the phone. If someone a friend calls for a chat, you know, is it the most essential thing to pick up? And if you pick the phone up, how easy is it to then say I'm actually working, you know, like you feel like it just makes things really hard and I think, working your way towards whatever it is that you need to work with, like how can I make it a little bit easier for the person to understand?

Manhaz Sharif: 28:18

And it becomes a bit of a training zone, doesn't it, where we're almost taking just step by step, because other people will find it very difficult, especially if you haven't had any sort of communicated boundaries before. They might be like what's this, what's this? I don't understand, but why do you need? And you know they might feel quite defensive about it, but it's not about, I would say don't share it as a boundary. You are sharing simply that you're creating more structure to your day, which you clearly are, and the fact that that boundary is going to maintain your self and your business, work and kind of like, create that pocket of time when you're wanting to be focused on your business. That should be. That should be something that makes you want to create it rather than it feeling like you know you don't want to create it and I think whatever you're dealing with like if it's your kids or your partner or parents, you know, whatever it is it's just slowly, like be kind and empathetic and just see, like move yourself from the situation. There's nothing, there's no reason for you to feel that you have to announce something in some kind of big way.

Manhaz Sharif: 29:39

It can be step by step and, I think, just working out what the best way is for you so that people are aware of it. Then they know, well, I wouldn't be answering the phone from up to you know four o'clock if somebody calls me. Well, I might not even see your phone until I'll call you half four. You know we can. We can make things easier and it might feel difficult because we're too used to saying yes to everybody, but then that's not helpful because we just feel like we're getting dragged. It's like playing tug of war Everybody's pulling you in all directions and you're like in the middle, like I can't do everything and you can't. So you have a choice to make. Do you want to be productive in the time you have to work so you can switch off and do all the other things in the rest of the day as well? Or do you want to be in this struggle and you know let's not struggle with the juggle- yeah, and I love that.

Donna Eade: 30:37

And one of the things that I really love what you said there is I think a lot of people get defensive if people start talking about their boundaries. I think it can really cause some defensive reactions from people If you turn around and say, like this is my boundary, I don't want you coming round during the day I'm at work. I think defensive If you what you said there was perfect. I'm restructuring the way I'm working and that means that I really need you to respect the fact that on these days, at these times, this is this is my work time and I've got to focus on doing my work because I'm making time to be present with the family, these times where you can come round and see us, and I want to be very present. I don't want to be sitting there thinking, oh, I haven't finished the work that I need to get done.

Donna Eade: 31:27

So this time is for my work, this time is for my family and I could really do your with your help in ensuring that that time is kept, so that I don't have to give up this time to do this. I love that. That is so powerful, so powerful, brilliant. I love that. I was just so good, because I do. I think that it can be really one of the reasons that people don't set boundaries or let people walk all over them is because there is kind of a defensiveness that comes up, especially with family.

Donna Eade: 32:05

If you're turning around saying, look, this is a hard boundary for me. They just put why do I need boundary like? You know and they get very defensive about it. So I think that is such a nicer way of sort of structuring it as helping me to restructure the time that I'm you and what I'm using it for, so that I can be ever present for my family.

Manhaz Sharif: 32:26

Which is the truth, isn't it?

Manhaz Sharif: 32:28

Yeah, absolutely, it's actually the truth.

Manhaz Sharif: 32:29

You are restructuring things and it's going to be of positive, positive effect on you and everybody around you because you know when you are with them, like you said, you know you would be fully present and not be worrying about all the stuff that you haven't done and like listening and what, with one ear and not the other.

Manhaz Sharif: 32:49

You know that's not what we want and then you're not really in the moment, so that's not living present presently. So whatever we can do to bring more joy and you know, take that stress away will be helpful and others will always be up there ready to well, why do you need it? And because they don't understand and I think, just accepting that you know your business friends will understand. There are people around you who will understand. Talk to them about it because I bet you they would be encouraging you to do the things that you are feeling like you want to do in terms of setting boundaries and things. And don't look for that encouragement from your family because they will never get it until they probably see the benefits which there will be benefits for them.

Donna Eade: 33:40

Absolutely. I have to do it with my daughter all the time. Actually, she'll come in and she'll start talking to me. I haven't stopped what I'm doing. I'm still like a mid email or something. And she just comes in and she starts blubblubblub and I'm like, babe, give me five minutes, I need to finish this email. I'm not listening to you and she'll go okay, because the number of times she's done that, I've continued to do that and she's gone blubblubblub and I'm like what? And she's like you haven't listened to her and I was like, well, no, I'm working like you didn't ask for my attention. You just came in and started talking like so we've come to an agreement now. We've kind of worked out that you know when she does that, I just have her say can you give me two minutes? I need to finish this, and she will go okay and she'll go off and do something else and I can talk about it.

Donna Eade: 34:29

There you go that's proof, isn't it? It means that she's not frustrated that I'm not listening to her. I'm not trying to half listen to her while trying to write an email which would just be dire for me because my keyboard dyslexia is off the charts at the best of times without also putting in words that she's saying that aren't supposed to be in my email. So, yes, it does work, for us for sure. So, before we wrap up, you have got a free gift for my audience, for my listeners. So can you tell us a little bit about this freebie and where we can get hold of it? I?

Manhaz Sharif: 35:04

can indeed Don. I'm really excited to share this. So if you want to stop going nuts, trying to focus on multiple things and achieving nothing, then this is for you. I've created an overwhelm free weekly action plan and this will help you to regain control of your week in under 30 minutes, so it's not like it's a one-off. This is like you use it, ongoing regularly and if you need to establish a new way of doing things, and this plan will really help you to reclaim your time and sanity.

Manhaz Sharif: 35:39

I love that it sounds like it was made just for me.

Donna Eade: 35:44

I will link that in the show notes for you guys. So go over to donnaeade. com/podcasts and you will find our episode there If this is the day that it drops. If it is not, I'm going to do an outro. I will let you know what number it is so that you can go back and find it and make sure you pick up that freebie. Now, before we wrap up completely, I've got my quick fire round that I like to do with my guests to just help us get to know you a little bit better. Are you up for it, Mahnaz? I am up for it yes, okay, cool.

Donna Eade: 36:16

so what is the book that has made the biggest impact on your life thus far?

Manhaz Sharif: 36:24

The book that I want to share with you is the Power of the Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy. So if you haven't read that before, it will really open up so much because he shares so many stories of how like real life stories of how the power of subconscious mind works and the fact that we have well, we do pretty much know, don't we? We have not tapped into it properly. So, yeah, it's really enlightening and I think, since I've read that book, I'm reading it, listening to it second time round now. It's just amazing.

Donna Eade: 37:02

I will definitely be checking that one out. I am obsessed with the subconscious mind and the power that we have inside us that is laying dormant, so that is definitely one I will be checking out. I will link that in the show notes as well, guys, so that you can go and find it yourself. What's your favourite go-to snack when you're in a hurry?

Manhaz Sharif: 37:24

Oh, my favourite snack would have to be our protein bar.

Donna Eade: 37:28

I love that. I love that We've had a couple of protein based people on the show recently that have said something quite healthy. We've also had people that have come on and gone crisps. That's really terrible, isn't it? But I'm just like hey, no, it's you. It's all about who you are as a person, and I think these are very revealing questions actually.

Manhaz Sharif: 37:50

That's a good question.

Donna Eade: 37:53

And then finally, what is your ultimate me time thing to do, talking about certain boundaries, so that we've got some time to rest and recuperate. What do you like to do in your rest and recuperation time?

Manhaz Sharif: 38:05

My ultimate me time, my goodness. I think it's going with the flow and really like it's not one thing, but it's being able to change what it is that you need. Sometimes, like internally, we know it might be yoga, it might be a bit of stretching, it might be breathing, it might be meditation. I just like what do I feel like? And go going with that. So it's not just one thing, because sometimes one is much better than the other.

Donna Eade: 38:35

I love that just being able to take the time to tune into yourself and what you need Brilliant love that, Love that. Thank you so much for your time, Staminaz. It's been a fantastic conversation. I really, really appreciate you coming on the show.

Manhaz Sharif: 38:50

Thank you, Donna. Thank you so much for having me. I hope it's been helpful for your listeners.

Donna Eade: 38:55

I hope you found that episode interesting and useful. Do go and share it on social media. Tag me and Minaz on Instagram. Our Instagram handles will be in the show notes which you can find over at DonnaEade. com/ blog. Look for episode 185 and I will speak to you next week. Bye for now.